


pull my world apart

by limitlist



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: All Other Pairings Are Background, Ambassador Sokka, Bad Flirting, Bisexual Sokka, Demisexual Zuko, Epistolary, F/M, Fire Lord Zuko, Flirting, Friends to Lovers, Gaang (Avatar) as Family, Gen, LGBTQ Characters, M/M, Multi, Pining, Post-Canon, Zuko Needs a Hug, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, aka both Sokka and Zuko are disasters, at least partially, gay Zuko, it counts, let these disasters hug already, main pairing is Sokka/Zuko, more tags to come, oh goodness there’s so much pining, sokka needs a hug, sorry tag wranglers, theres a full epistolary chapter, zuko is anxious, zuko needs sleep
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24768358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limitlist/pseuds/limitlist
Summary: A month after Zuko’s coronation as Fire Lord, Sokka leaves the Fire Nation with his family. When he returns, it’s been five years.or...Everyone gets some pining in this household.
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Hakoda & Sokka (Avatar), Katara & Sokka (Avatar), Mai/Suki/Ty Lee, Sokka & Suki (Avatar), Sokka & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar), Ty Lee & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 76
Kudos: 322
Collections: A:tla





	1. when i saw you shining

**Author's Note:**

> title is from “Can’t Look Away” by Seafret (which is a great zukka song if anyone is interested), this fic is beta’d by the amazing @avng on tumblr. this chapter starts right after Zuko’s coronation. enjoy :)

Zuko’s coronation banquet was definitely the fanciest dinner Sokka had ever been to. Even the Earth King’s dinner in Ba Sing Se looked kind of quaint in comparison. This time at least, Sokka had some coaching. (If by coaching, Sokka meant a 15 minute crash course from Toph followed by watching Zuko for any and all social cues, no one had to know.)

Sokka stood at the edge of the crowd, eyes flicking over the room, diagramming escape routes and hiding spots with no effort. When traveling with Aang, crowds typically meant danger. Standing still and being polite, engaging in small talk and not violence, none of it came easily to Sokka anymore. His gaze found Zuko again, watching as he interacted with nobles and foreign dignitaries. As he watched, Zuko shuffled his feet uncomfortably, but he didn’t show any other sign of his nervousness.  _ How does he do that,  _ Sokka thought,  _ they don’t even notice his discomfort! Zuko is absolutely see through, and they have no clue.  _

A hand on his shoulder pulled him out of his thoughts. Katara stood to his side with a forced smile. “Sokka,” she muttered between her teeth, “act like we’re talking.”

“Well if I act like we’re talking, that means we are talking, and then it’s not acting anymore, is it?” he asked. 

Katara broke and scowled at him. “You idiot, just talk to me, one of the Earth Kingdom merchants won’t stop coming up to me.”

He caught sight of a short, balding man with a belly hanging over his belt approaching Katara from behind and quickly started leading her through the crowd, using escape route 3B. “I see what you mean, these men can be pigs,” Sokka grumbled as he very politely shoved their way through the room. 

His sister giggled behind him. “Sokka, you were a pig too, less than a year ago!” 

Sokka faked a gasp, stopping them next to a pillar with a perfect vantage point of the Kyoshi warriors guarding Zuko. “Pardon me, but I’ve been drinking my respect women juice every day since Suki kicked our asses back on Kyoshi!”

Katara elbowed her brother in the ribs. “Can’t you at least try to follow Toph’s rules? You aren’t supposed to curse in noble company, that was her second point!”

“Nag nag nag,” Sokka muttered, scanning the room to hide his grin. A bit of bickering had always distracted his sister in the past, and it hadn’t failed him this time. The merchant who had harassed Katara had moved on to harassing the influential men of the party, trying to work his way near Zuko. 

Aang approached them, finally breaking away from the Fire Nation nobles that had been dogging him all night. The three of them made small talk, trying desperately to look busy enough to avoid the attention of the other party guests. 

Sokka kept finding his gaze on Zuko. It wasn’t his fault, Zuko was just entirely too good at the whole court thing. It shouldn’t be possible for someone (who was exiled for  _ three years _ before turning  _ traitor _ ) to be this good. There was no way he had much experience, yet he floated around the room like he had been at court for decades. Zuko gave a small laugh at something one of the council members said and accidentally met Sokka’s eyes. Zuko nodded his head almost imperceptibly, and in return Sokka mimed drinking poison. Zuko almost grinned before drawing himself back. As Sokka watched, Zuko turned and had a whispered conversation with Suki before stepping up to the next noble with a small smile. 

Suki told one of the other warriors something before heading towards Sokka’s group. He watched her apprehensively, hoping Zuko wasn’t mad with him for the silly gesture. 

“Hey Suki, what’s up?” Aang asked, grinning as she approached. 

She nodded back to him and stepped into Sokka’s arms. “Hey guys, Zuko sent me with a message.” She paused and tilted her face up to Sokka’s with a small smile. “Hey babe.”

Sokka smiled down at her (because honestly, how could he  _ not _ ), but he really just wanted to hear what Zuko wanted. “Hey,” he mumbled, kissing her cheek carefully, not wanting the lecture he would get from messing up her makeup. 

Suki giggled before stepping back to face the rest of the group. Sokka caught Katara rolling her eyes and stuck his tongue out, like the nobleman he was supposed to be pretending to be. Suki ignored them, instead looking around, confused. “Where’s Toph?”

Toph appeared out of nowhere behind Katara. “You rang?” Katara jumped, and Toph laughed much more calmly than she would have if they were alone. This party had them all on their best behavior, but they were starting to slip. They’re all just kids. Kids who had defeated the Fire Nation’s opposition merely a week ago, but whatever. They were all exhausted still, mentally and physically, and it took all of their resolve to represent Zuko well. 

Suki nodded. “Zuko wants to show us something after the party, he said it should be a surprise. He doesn’t know how long he’s going to take here, but he’s granted you all permission to go back to our quarters.”

Sokka frowned, furrowing his eyebrows and tilting his head to the side. “What about you?”

“As head of his guard until the Kyoshi warriors leave, I have to stay here until he leaves. Don’t worry, I’ll head over as soon as we’re done,” she reassured him. He shrugged and nodded, relieved at finally being able to leave. 

Sokka stole a glance at Zuko before exiting the hall, only to catch the Fire Lord already staring at them exit. Zuko nodded at him again, while Sokka winked back, feeling pleased as a blush spread across Zuko’s cheek. 

Katara, Aang, Toph, and Sokka walked back to their quarters through the winding halls and courtyards of the palace. It only took five minutes for them to get there, but by their grumbling it could have been a full day’s hike up a mountain. 

As soon as they reached their common room, they collapsed into the various chairs and couches they had dragged in from other sitting rooms. (On their first day in the palace, while Zuko was still knocked out from Azula’s lightning, Toph had claimed that they needed more furniture options. She pulled them along to the countless sitting rooms of the palace, throwing herself into all the couches and chairs until she had found over ten that she deemed suitable.  _ Nobles. _ )

Aang fell face first into the plushiest couch available with a large groan. “I hate being the Avatar,” he mumbled into a cushion. 

“You think being the Avatar stinks?” Toph snarled, not even bothering to find a chair and just plopping down on the floor. “My parents get business from  _ all  _ of those stupid merchants! Some of them even  _ recognized _ me, and wanted to suck up!” She affected a snooty accent. “‘Oh, Miss Beifong! Are your parents here? You really shouldn’t be traveling alone, spirits forbid something  _ happened to you! _ ’” Toph bent her arm-brace-from-space into increasingly intimidating daggers, and Sokka sunk deeper into his chair with each one. 

Katara sighed. “I know it wasn’t fun, but it’s important that we show we support Zuko as Fire Lord. We were the visible heads of the resistance. Some of the Fire Nation people still think Zuko’s just another Ozai or Azula, which clearly isn’t true. More people seemed comfortable after seeing us support him, even if it meant we couldn’t play around or practice.” 

Sokka shut his eyes and tilted his head back in his chair. He wasn’t sure what this surprise from Zuko was supposed to be, but he couldn’t wait to find out so he could go to sleep already. He let the banter between Katara and Toph drift over him, preferring to space out at that perfect point between awake and asleep. 

Zuko and Suki stumbled in half an hour after the rest of them excused themselves, beelining to the chairs. “Finally, his Royal Majesty decides to join us!” Toph remarked from her position laying on the floor. 

“Yeah Zuko, what took you so long?” Aang asked, stifling yawns obviously every few seconds. 

“The whole party was for my coronation, I couldn’t leave until it was socially acceptable, whatever that means.” Zuko sighed and flopped onto a couch, while Sokka blinked his eyes open to find Suki perched on the arm of his chair. “I don’t even feel like doing the roof thing anymore.”

Sokka perked up at his last statement. “Yeah, hey, what are we all gathered for anyway? Suki said you had a plan?”

The older boy groaned. “I  _ was  _ going to sneak you all onto the roof, try to make up for the awfulness that was the banquet, but I think my bones just turned to slush.”

Aang sat straight up. “That sounds like fun though!” He turned towards Katara. “Doesn’t that sound like fun?”

Katara winced. “I don’t know Aang, we’re all pretty tired, that might not be the safest idea…”

At hearing his sister’s disapproval, Sokka’s enthusiasm spiked. “I think it sounds like a great idea! Up, everybody up, we’re relocating to the roof.”

There were a few groans, but soon everyone except Zuko was standing. After a few pokes in the back of the head from Toph, and Aang and Sokka working together to pull on his arms, Zuko stood.

“Great!” Sokka clapped his hands together, substantially more awake than before and watching with glee as Katara and Zuko winced at the noise. “Now, to the roof!”

Sneaking on to the roof was easier said than done when the only person who knew how to get there was practically sleep walking. They walked in circles around the halls, only getting anywhere when Toph flicked Zuko’s face to wake him up. Eventually, somehow, they made it up there. 

Sokka was at the back of their procession, so he heard everyone’s soft gasps as they took in the view. When he saw it himself, he understood why. They weren’t on the tallest building of the palace, but they had a decent vantage point of the city. 

The roof itself was a small flat space that ended in a steep descent on all sides. Past the roof, they could see the lights of the city, usually extinguished by this time, but kept on through the night in honor of their new Fire Lord. In the distance, the caldera peaked over the city, perfectly framing the stars that glimmered high above their heads and the moon, a tiny sliver of light in the deep blue sky. As always, Sokka closed his eyes in the moonlight and said a short prayer to Yue. 

Once his prayer was completed, he opened his eyes to catch Zuko staring at him with a soft smile. Sokka blushed, turning to take in the light of the city. He accidentally elbowed Toph in the shoulder, earning a quick punch to the ribs that he grumbled over but didn’t protest. It was a tight fit, but none of them complained over the loss of personal space. They were used to tight quarters, and honestly, they slept better when they were close together.

They all agreed to lay down, barely fitting everyone in the tight confines of the rooftop. Looking up at the stars, Sokka started to track the constellations of his childhood, albeit in completely different locations. He recited the stories of the ones he could find out loud to the group. Surrounded by everyone who mattered, they finally let themselves release the tension of the night. Slowly, they all drifted off to sleep. 

——

The next morning, Sokka jolted awake. Everyone else was asleep. As he tried to find what had woken him up, his gaze was caught on Zuko. 

Even though Zuko usually woke with the sun, he must have been too exhausted to do it that morning. The sun turned the sky purple and pink with morning light, and Agni must have been in a good mood, as he granted Zuko with what looked to Sokka like his very own halo. The light caught on Zuko’s hair, making it look softer than a turtleduckling. His hair hung across his forehead, and all Sokka wanted to do was brush it back, cradle Zuko’s face in his hands, kiss his—

Sokka shook his head.  _ Wait. What? No.  _ He looked at Zuko’s face again. It’s just a face. Two eyelids, closed at the moment, one nose, one scar, one mouth, one jawbone that looked like a perfect place for Sokka to put his hand as he would lean in and kiss him—

_This needs to stop._ Sokka took a deep breath and let it out, turning on his back where he couldn’t be distracted by Zuko’s pretty face. _There, you admit it, Zuko has a pretty face. That’s not scary, right?_ _Except for the fact that you have a girlfriend, idiot._

He rubbed his eyes with one hand.  _ Okay. So. You like guys. This is new, but not entirely surprising. There was the whole Boulder thing. And the Teo thing. And— okay. I like guys. That’s okay.  _

_ I like… Zuko.  _ Sokka cringed.  _ But I’m dating Suki! I can’t like Zuko, that’s not how it works! _

_ But… Do I like Suki, or am I just dating her? Shit.  _

A voice rang out from the courtyard below, one of the guards telling the other that the Fire Lord was missing. Quickly, Sokka reached over and punched Zuko in the shoulder without looking. 

“Ow, what the— Sokka? Why are we— oh. Right. Did you just… punch me?”  _ Shit, he’s cute when he’s just woken up.  _ When Sokka looked over, he was propped up on his elbows to make eye contact, yawning and looking around at their friends.  _ Was he always cute and I just didn’t notice? _

“Guards think you’re missing. Tough luck buddy, apparently being Fire Lord is a full time gig.” 

Zuko scoffed. “Really? I thought it was only part time. That’s it, I quit, this is a breach of contract.”

As Zuko stretched, yawned, and tried to tiptoe his way across the minefield of their friends without waking anyone, Sokka cursed himself for not noticing his massive crush on the guy earlier. “Oh, good morning Zuko,” he whisper-yelled after him. 

The older boy glared back at him. “Just cause you get to sleep in—“

Sokka smiled. “Shush, you’ll wake up the rest! Go, shoo, go do Fire Lord-y things, I’m going back to sleep.”

Zuko scowled, but opened the door as quietly as possible, easing it shut behind him. Sokka let his head fall back onto the roof. 

_ Shit. This is bad.  _

——

It was almost dinner before Sokka could get Suki alone. He tugged at her wrist, asking, “Hey, can we talk?”

She looked at him strangely, glancing at the rest of their friends before turning to face him. “What’s up?”

He gave her a sheepish smile then led her away, not bothering to tell the rest of them where they were going. They would probably assume Sokka and Suki needed some ‘alone time’ and leave them alone. 

When they reached a random sitting room, Sokka made sure the door was locked and the windows were shut before sinking onto the couch next to Suki. “Sokka?” she questioned, trying to catch his eyes. “Hey, you’re kinda freaking me out. Is everything okay?”

He screwed his eyes shut, and everything started spilling out. “I didn’t mean to, it just kind of happened, I was just looking and then—“

“Sokka, I need some context,” Suki cut him off. “Did you… Did you cheat on me, Sokka?”

“No!” His eyes flew open, and he looked at Suki, who just looked confused. Sokka groaned. “I’m screwing this up so badly. I didn’t cheat on you, Suki. I just… I think I might like someone else. But I still like you!”

Suki visibly relaxed. “Is that it? Oh Sokka, you really freaked me out for a second there.” Suki giggled. “Is that it?” Watching Sokka’s face drop, Suki dropped her own smile. “No, what I mean to say is— Sokka. On Kyoshi, it’s perfectly normal to date more than one person at a time, as long as everyone knows what’s going on.”

Sokka furrowed his brows and tilted his head. “I… what?”

She giggled again before sighing. “Kyoshi was an interesting lady, to say the least. She was attracted to both men and women, and when she was at her prime, she had at least two partners at any time. People grew used to her habits, and they became commonplace. While it’s typical for someone to have a partner who they may get married to, it’s perfectly acceptable for them to have other partners, as long as everyone is in the know and agrees to the situation.” 

“I…” Sokka felt like his brain was about to explode.  _ I’m not just weird? This is acceptable? This is okay?  _ “…what?”

Suki was still smiling at him. “Did I break your brain?” He vacantly nodded. “Okay then. I’m going to hug you now. Feel free to let your brain kick in whenever it gets a reboot.”

And that’s what they did. 

——

The week continued, and Suki and Sokka kept sneaking away all the time. Zuko knew they were dating, but he found himself getting annoyed with Suki all the same.  _ Why am I so mad? They did this all the time on Ember Island. I was fine with it then. Why is this different? _

It all came to a head one day when Sokka found him in one of the courtyards. He jogged up with a brilliant smile, the reds of his Fire Nation clothes making the blue of his eyes stand out. “Hey, jerkbender!” he called. “Wanna practice your swordbending for a bit?” 

Zuko sneered. “Are you sure you don’t want to practice with Suki?” Watching Sokka’s face fall, he realized he might’ve crossed a line. Zuko sighed, turning so he didn’t have to look at Sokka. “I’m sorry, that was rude.”

Sokka cleared his throat. “Yeah, a bit. She did just break up with me.” Zuko spun around, confusion evident on his face. 

“What? But— why?” 

“Well…” Sokka looked like he was blushing, but since he got sunburned a few days ago, he looked like that constantly. His nose scrunched a bit, like it always did when he was weighing his options. “We just didn’t really feel anything for each other anymore. She’s got her eyes on other people, and—“

Zuko’s head tilted in confusion as he cut Sokka off. “People? As in plural?”

Sokka closed his mouth and opened it a couple times. Finally, he mumbled, “Okay maybe I wasn’t supposed to let that out just yet.” 

Trying to keep his sputtering to a minimum, Zuko shut his mouth and considered it. “…It’s Ty Lee and Mai, isn’t it?” he asked after wrapping his mind around the concept. 

Sokka’s eyes grew to a comical size. “What? No! I didn’t say that! I didn’t say anything! I— no— um.” He offered a sheepish smile. “Maybe don’t say anything?”

He toyed with the idea of just keeping Sokka in suspense, but decided that was cruel. “I won’t say anything.” Sokka practically collapsed inward when he sighed, and Zuko quirked a smile. “Anyway, I have two hours until my next meeting. Meet me in the training room in ten?”

Zuko was already walking away to get his dao when Sokka grabbed his elbow. He half turned and raised an eyebrow at the shorter boy. Sokka smiled sheepishly. “Hey, um, I was actually wondering about something else too…” 

Sokka’s eyes darted around Zuko’s face. After a moment of quiet, Zuko raised his eyebrow in question. “Sokka? What is it?”

At hearing his name, Sokka jolted back as if burned. “Oh, nothing! Nothing.” He grinned widely as if trying to dissuade Zuko from questioning further. “Just…” Sokka let the grin fall into a smaller smile and stepped back. “You’re my best friend, Zuko. Thanks for being there for me.”

Zuko blinked once, then twice, and gaped at Sokka. “I…” he drifted off, closing his mouth again. “I’m… what?”

Sokka snorted. “Nerd, you act like you’ve never had a best friend before.”

“I haven’t,” Zuko responded absentmindedly, still trying to process the situation. “Are we… best friends?”

A sad look crossed Sokka’s face before he forced a grin on again. “Duh. We’ve been best friends since you helped me jailbreak Dad. Did you miss all the…” he mimed a parry with an imagined sword, “…bonding moments?”

He considered all the hunting, sword fighting, and late night talks they’d had since breaking out of Boiling Rock. “I just thought you hated me less than before.” After seeing a broken look cross Sokka’s face, Zuko rushed to correct himself. “Not that I still think you hate me! I’d like to be your best friend! I just…” Zuko turned away, weighing his options. With a sigh, he decided to try to tell the truth. “Azula was the only one allowed friends as a child. I had Lu Ten, my cousin, but that was it. I couldn’t even talk to the servant’s children. It wasn’t anything to complain about.”  _ Aside from the overwhelming loneliness. The desperation for friends of my own. The stinging remarks from Father and my instructors, with no one to distract me from them.  _ Trying not to get lost in his memories, Zuko added, “Now I finally have friends…”  _ …and you’re all leaving me. _

When Zuko turned back to look at Sokka, he was staring at Zuko with an odd intensity. “Alright, I’m going to need a promise right now that you’re going to write to us once we go back home. No way are we letting you go back to feeling like lonely-child Zuko, not now that we got you to join our gang!” Sokka’s hands flew in grand movements like he was batting away Zuko’s loneliness. 

Zuko huffed out a laugh at his friend’s ridiculousness. “Promise.” He and Sokka smiled at each other for a minute before Sokka startled out of it suddenly. 

“We’re wasting time! Quick, go get your dao so I can kick your ass in time for your stupid meeting.” Sokka shoved at Zuko’s shoulder until he stumbled out of the courtyard, grinning like a maniac. 

(Once Zuko left his sight, Sokka sighed, dropping his smile and covering his face. “Shit,” he muttered, going to lean against the wall. “One chance to tell him, and I fucking blew it.” Sokka let out a long sigh before rubbing his eyes and smoothing back his hair. “Okay. Best friends. I can do that,” he whispered to himself, rolling his shoulders and straightening his back. “I can do that.”)

——

Zuko woke up with a pit in his stomach on the day the Southern Water Tribe people were scheduled to leave. Although Aang, Katara, and Sokka could just fly Appa to the South Pole, the Water Tribe siblings wanted to spend time with their community. Aang would fly alongside the ship on Appa, coming aboard at every mealtime and at night to sleep. Every step of the trip had been carefully planned out, and Zuko knew that Sokka loved his plans, but if he had to look at another time-table he was going to either cry or scream. 

He went about his morning routine, trying as always to squash his need to convince the morning servants that he didn’t need assistance getting ready. Zuko discovered in his first week that Ozai and Azula had conditioned the workers using fear. Fear for their safety, for their jobs, for their lives. He had serious work to do, helping them to recover without it coming across as an order. That meant letting them do their jobs, even though he wanted nothing more than to pull on his own robes, shove the ceremonial headpiece on his head, and run out to find Sokka. 

By the time he made it to the dining room in the visitor’s quarters, the sun was well into the sky. Everyone was already gathered around the table, waiting for Zuko and Toph to appear. As he turned in the doorway, Toph yanked a wall up and stepped through, scaring their friends as always. 

“Toph!” Katara chided, “There’s no need for that, you  _ know _ where the doorway is!”

Toph cackled. “Of course there’s a need for it! You guys need to stay on your toes! I won’t be there to scare you in the South Pole!” Everyone sombered up at her last statement, as if suddenly remembering that it was their last day together. 

Zuko coughed and headed for his seat. He avoided eye contact as he snagged breakfast off the different serving platters across the table. It was a rare day when the kitchen workers allowed him to serve himself, and Zuko was not about to risk losing that privilege just because of the almost overwhelming fear of being alone again. 

Slowly, conversation restarted. It was only Zuko, Toph, Katara, Aang, and Sokka present, as Suki had left for Kyoshi (and brought along Mai and Ty Lee) two days before. Zuko only zoned in when he felt a hand on his elbow. 

He looked up to see Sokka staring at him, eyebrows furrowed. “You good?” he asked under his breath, letting Aang’s stories distract the others from them. Zuko nodded, looking away from Sokka in an effort to get him to drop the subject. 

It’d been three weeks since Suki broke up with Sokka, and three weeks since Zuko realized he had actual friends now. Personally, he thought it was strange how much three weeks could change his outlook on life. It took over three years for him to throw off his loyalty to Ozai, but in three weeks he had given all of the loyalty not already claimed by his country to these four idiots. 

He and Toph spent some afternoons after Zuko’s awful meetings sat in the middle of their courtyard on a dais that Toph raised to tower over the surrounding buildings, complaining about stuck up nobles not knowing when to shut their mouths. Toph showed him that aggression could be friendly, could be comforting, which was a revelation after a lifetime of people either pampering him or aiming to hurt him. 

Katara had just started to get to know him when the fight with Azula happened, but by his coronation they got along pretty well. Over the past month, Zuko had realized that Katara understood when he didn’t want to be alone, but didn’t want to talk either. When either of them needed the comfort of another person, they’d just find the other and sit down nearby. It might be small, but Zuko wouldn’t trade that understanding for any grand gesture from Katara. 

With Aang, Zuko thought he might understand what little brothers are like now. When Zuko wasn’t overwhelmed with work, Aang tended to follow him from place to place, peppering him with questions about what he was doing and why. Zuko tried to be patient, explaining to the best of his ability why tax reforms are important and why it matters what route his soldiers take on their way home, but when Aang fluttered away (distracted by some kids laughter or passing food cart) he learned to just sigh and keep moving. 

Now, Sokka was interesting. It didn’t matter what they did. They could be sword fighting, reading in the library, bickering over a tactical plan, staring up at the stars, throwing fruit at each other, brushing out Appa, trying to see who could climb the highest on the palace rooftops (Zuko, no competition), or just passing each other in the halls. No matter what they were doing, Sokka always brought Zuko out of his moods. He always got Zuko to open up about what was bothering him, and helped him figure out how to fix it. Sokka didn’t always reciprocate (he insisted that he didn’t need to talk about his emotions, which Zuko knew was utter bullshit, but it wasn’t always the most important thing to press), but he always made sure Zuko knew he was welcome. Zuko hadn’t been so happy and content since his mom… well. Since his mom. 

Needless to say, Zuko wasn’t quite sure what he was going to do now that his friends were all preparing to leave. Sokka hummed and let it drop, turning his attention back to Aang’s story about his adventure with Kuzon to the Whistling Caves. 

——

The morning was spent packing up the last of their things. Toph and Zuko, as the only ones not leaving, were the designated helpers. Zuko was disgruntled to find that this meant Toph got to sit in the middle of their common room reclining and eating grapes while Zuko had to retrieve missing items from all over their quarters. 

After their items were packed up, Zuko had the servants take them down to transport to be loaded onto the ship. Meanwhile, Aang led the rest of them into their courtyard, plopping down in the middle of the clearing to watch the clouds. Soon, all five of them were plopped down in a circle, staring up at the sky. (Well, Toph was just enjoying the feeling of the sun on her skin and her friend’s happiness.) 

They ate lunch there in the courtyard, sharing stories from before their travels converged and talking about future plans. Zuko couldn’t have repeated any one conversation. He was busy trying to memorize this feeling of contentment, of belonging, of friendship and knowing he was surrounded by people he loved. 

By the time they made it to the docks, quiet had overtaken the easy conversation of before. They each took turns hugging and saying goodbye to Toph and Zuko, until the only people left were Sokka and Zuko. 

Toph suddenly spoke up right as Sokka was turning to Zuko. “Aang, I think I can sense a pet store across the street, we should get Momo some treats!” Before Katara could say no, Toph and Aang had taken off. 

Katara turned to them with an apologetic look. “I should go stop them from going overboard,” she said, already turning to give chase. “Aang! Wait!”

They watched their friends run off before Zuko turned to Sokka. “Um,” he started before realizing he had no clue what to say. “Um… bye?” Zuko winced at himself, peeking an eye to see Sokka’s reaction. 

Sokka was staring at him with the most fondly exasperated look Zuko had ever received. “You utter brat. This is ridiculous, come here,” he demanded, already starting to hug the older boy. 

Zuko was frozen for a second before relaxing into his friend’s arms. He sighed, tucking his head into Sokka’s neck and trying not to cry. Sokka’s hands settled, one at the small of his back and the other buried in the hair at the nape of his neck. Zuko couldn’t stop thinking,  _ I don’t know when I’ll see you again. I don’t know when I’ll hug you again, when I’ll be able to bicker with you in person, do anything in person, _ and suddenly he couldn’t hold off the tears anymore. 

He started sniffling, then shuddering as Sokka tried to calm him down. Sokka tried to pull back and see what was wrong, but Zuko just tightened his grip around Sokka’s middle. He sniffled out a few more sobs. 

“Zuko, c’mon, what’re you thinking?” Sokka asked, not knowing how to fix this. Zuko squeezed his eyes shut as more tears tried to escape, pulling back slightly to rest his chin on Sokka’s shoulder. 

“I—“ he tried to start, but his voice broke immediately. Clearing this throat, Zuko whispered, “I don’t know when I’m going to see you again. We’re both going to be so busy, I don’t want to—“  _ lose you _ , he didn’t say, because he couldn’t speak any further. Openly sobbing, pressed his forehead into Sokka’s shirt. 

Sokka, meanwhile, obviously didn’t know what to do with his armful of crying Fire Lord. He rubbed up and down on Zuko’s back, murmuring, “Hey, shh, it’ll be okay. We’ll figure it out. We’ll write all the time, and Katara and Aang will visit all the time, and I’ll try my best to come visit you. I know I can’t promise beyond that, and—“ Sokka cut himself off, taking a couple deep breaths to regain control over his emotions. “It sucks. But we’ll do this. Hey,” he pulled back, forcing Zuko to meet his eyes. Zuko angrily wiped away the tears on his face, glaring at Sokka for no discernible reason. Sokka smiled brokenly at him. “I’m not going to replace you. You’re still going to be my best friend, Zuko.”

Zuko let out all of his breath at once, grinding his palms into his eyes. “Damn it, how do you always know what to fucking say,” he muttered, peeking out between his fingers when Sokka chuckled. 

“Sorry to break it to you, your Majesty, but you’re pretty predictable,” Sokka remarked, laughing at the indignation on Zuko’s face. 

“I’m not predictable!” Zuko sputtered. “I just— you’re— oh shut up!”

The blush on Zuko’s face made the red rimming his eyes even more noticeable. As they caught sight of their friends returning, they both tried to look more presentable. 

Katara took a look at Zuko and pulled him into another hug. They had another round of goodbyes, and then just like that, Sokka, Katara, Aang, and the rest of the Water Tribe group were boarding. 

Toph put up with Zuko watching the ship pull away for about five minutes before huffing. “You know,” she said, “I guess it’s easier to be blind right now.”

Zuko glanced over at her before looking back to the ship. “What do you mean?”

“Well I can’t see them leaving. For all I know, they’re just sitting five feet off the shoreline. They might be all the way to that Kyoshi Island you all talk about. I wouldn’t know.” She smirked and punched Zuko in the arm before turning pointedly back to the paladin. “Now, you and I need to get back to the palace so you can eat ice cream and I can laugh at you being pitiful.”

With one last look at the retreating ship, and the small figures on it that were his friends, he followed Toph. 

——

As soon as Sokka saw Zuko disappear into his fancy royalty transport with Toph, he collapsed forward onto the railing. “Shit,” he muttered, dragging a hand down his face. Katara leaned on the railing next to him. 

“I know it’s been forever since we’ve been home, but I wish we didn’t have to leave Zuko and Toph,” Katara said, staring as the Fire Nation slowly grew smaller and smaller. 

“Yeah,” Sokka sighed, heavily debating telling his sister what was going on. He looked around, and found Aang talking to Bato further down the deck. “Look Katara, I…” he drifted off, not sure how to say it. 

Katara nudged Sokka’s shoulder. “If this is about your giant crush on Zuko, I already know.”

Sokka whipped his head to stare at her. “You— what— I don’t…” he gaped at his apparently telepathic sister. “How do you  _ do _ that?”

His sister giggled, turned so her hip was leaning against the railing, and crossed her arms. “I’ve watched you flirt more this past year than I ever did at home. I know what it looks like, Sokka. You two are completely oblivious.”

Bewildered, Sokka tried to wrap his head around Katara recognizing him flirting with people. He forgot that once he processed her last sentence. “Wait, what do you mean ‘us two’?”

Katara sighed. “Sokka, it’s clear he likes you too. It’s painful to watch you two dance around each other!”

Sokka snorts. “Nothing could possibly be more painful than watching you and Aang try to figure out where you stand.” He caught Katara’s blush and cut her off before she could deny it. “Anyway, it’s not like Zuko and I could ever work out. He has his duty to the Fire Nation, and I have mine to the tribe. We’d never see each other, we’d have diplomatic conflicts, I just…” he sighed, turning back to look at the speck that used to be Caldera City. “I didn’t want to start something that we couldn’t continue. I can’t have him and give him up.”

He jolted out of his thoughts as Katara put a hand on his arm. “I know.” She pulled him in for a hug. “It sucks,” she mumbled into his shoulder. 

“Yeah…” Sokka murmured, shutting his eyes to stave off the tears he had avoided for so long. “It sucks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed! i don’t have an update schedule rn, but if you follow me on tumblr @limit-list you’ll be able to see all of my rants and sneak peaks of this fic :)


	2. holding onto my belief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you everyone for the support!! all chapter titles are from “Can’t Look Away” by Seafret. this chapter deals with the five years that our fav boys are separated. as always, beta’d by the lovely @avng on tumblr. hope y’all enjoy :)

As the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months, Zuko adapted to being the Fire Lord. He got used to replacing sleep with tea. The council members that he kept on adapted to how he ran things, and he replaced the ones who held no loyalty to him (or were just dickheads,he knew enough of those, thanks). He squashed the impulse to apologize whenever he sent a worker for his papers, instead investing his spare time in getting to know the staff. 

Zuko grew his advisors from one or two trusted people into a board of Ambassadors and consultants on a range of issues. Ambassador Malika of the Northern Water Tribe harbored a deep distrust of all Fire Nation dealings, Ambassador Poha of Omashu and Ambassador Hulo of Ba Sing Se bickered over what the Earth Kingdom would want constantly, and Ambassador Tanuk of the Southern Water Tribe always looked at Zuko like he knew something Zuko didn’t. As Zuko wrangled his Ambassadors into behaving (or in Ambassador Tanuk’s instance, tried to ignore the situation completely), he learned how to handle larger cultural differences. Slowly, the ambassadors and the Fire Nation consultants started to look past their differences.

Every shortcoming Zuko felt that he had, he tried to turn into a learning moment for himself. Six months in, the troops were retreating from Earth Kingdom lands, and the Fire Nation was slowly growing into their new Fire Lord’s reforms. 

Zuko received a letter five months in from Mai, telling him that she and Ty Lee would be moving to Kyoshi permanently the following month. They would be arriving for a few days to gather their things. 

As soon as they walked in, Zuko could tell something had changed. Mai was smiling much more freely than he had ever seen her, and Ty Lee was just giggling back as if it were normal. He looked between them in confusion before Mai noticed he was there.

Mai smiled at him, which was just too odd for him to handle. “Um, Mai? Is everything okay?”

Her smile faltered, not that it was very big to begin with. “Wow, hello to you too, Zuko.”

Ty Lee pulled slightly at her arm and looked at her with the puppy dog eyes she perfected when she was still Azula’s minion. Zuko stood by in shock while the girls had a silent conversation. 

“Are you two… together?”

Mai tilted her head up in challenge. “Ty Lee, Suki, and I are dating. Do you have an issue with that?”

Zuko quickly backpedaled. “No! I don’t have an issue with it, it’s just the law—“

“You haven’t changed that law yet?” Mai asked disbelievingly. “I thought that would’ve been your first act.” She hesitated after the last sentence before turning on her heel and exiting the entrance hall.

As Mai stormed off, Zuko turned to Ty Lee in confusion. “What did I say wrong?”

Ty Lee smiled at him sympathetically. “It’s just weird for her to transition to finally being allowed to have feelings. Kyoshi is much different than the Fire Nation, Zuko. Mai has been telling jokes, telling us how she feels. To come back here and hear that you haven’t changed the laws regarding same-sex relationships—“

“But I can’t!” Zuko protested. “The council would never allow it! I brought it up and was immediately shot down!” Ty Lee giggled condescendingly, in that way Zuko recognized from hanging around Azula as a kid. 

“Zuko,” she started, “you’re the  _ Fire Lord _ . What you say goes. If you want to change a law, they can’t stop you.”

He stared back at her, trying to process the sudden change in viewing his authority. “But if it’s not what the people want—“

“This  _ is _ what the people want.” Ty Lee stopped, pursing her lips in consideration. “Can I… can I speak freely?” Zuko winced at the question needing to even be asked. 

“Of course Ty Lee, always.”

She looked away, out the window toward Caldera City. “I know you’re doing your best Zuko. But you’re surrounded by members of your Council, not your people.” She twisted her hands in the ends of her shirt. “The Council is made up of nobles. You’re only hearing the voice of the elite. Your  _ people _ are getting lost in all of this. It’s not your fault! For this at least, your people want change.” Ty Lee finally looked back at Zuko, pain evident on her face in her drawn eyebrows and flushed cheeks. “They want to be able to hold hands in the streets. To go on dates, to be together, to get married! You’re the Fire Lord, you have the ability to change laws with only a few words.” Ty Lee searched his face before sighing. She closed the distance between them, grabbed his hand, and squeezed it tightly once before letting go. “Just… think about it? I should go after Mai.”

Without another word, Ty Lee bounded out of the entrance hall. Zuko stood still, hands clenched by his sides, back straight, and mind racing until long after the guards switched for the afternoon.

By the time Ty Lee and Mai left for Kyoshi, the laws had been changed for good. 

——

Six months into his position as a councilman, Sokka began to think he was settling into his life again. The village had elected him to the council only a week after his return, citing his involvement in saving the world as ample experience. 

However, Sokka’s place as a councilman didn’t guarantee him the respect that typically came with his position. He was the youngest member in tribe history at just fifteen. As the months went by, Sokka was assigned more and more duties, but nowhere near the amount other council members had. His only consistent, day-to-day job was helping immigrants from the Northern Water Tribe adapt to life in the South Pole. Other members oversaw the rebuilding efforts or regulated their new trade program with the other nations. 

This wasn’t to say that Sokka didn’t enjoy helping the Water Tribe immigrants. There were so many of them, and he finally had other teenagers to interact with that  _ weren’t _ his sister or Aang. (Those two were getting along  _ just fine.  _ Sokka didn’t know how his dad was okay with Katara traveling the world alone with Aang. Probably because Aang is thirteen, and Sokka just gets stupidly protective sometimes. Not the point.)

Sokka spent most of his time teaching introductory classes on the Southern Water Tribe’s traditions and culture to the new tribe members. Honestly, that made it sound entirely too fancy. He mostly took them around from igloo to hut to docks and around again, showing them different jobs people did and telling stories. Sometimes, Sokka was observed by a council member to assess his progress, and then he had to sit everyone down in a hut and actually teach. He much preferred his methods.

His culture class was mostly made up of two groups, once the basics were over with and the classes themselves were no longer mandatory. The group he liked best were the people who were there to learn about his tribe. When he bothered to teach, Sokka enjoyed the genuine curiosity in his culture. The other group was made up of guys and girls around his age who only came to try and ‘win his affections’ or whatever. They stared him down the entire time, giggling behind his back and daring each other to flirt with him. A few months ago, Sokka would have enjoyed the attention. 

Now? Sokka just wanted them to leave him  _ alone. _

Outside of his council jobs, Sokka spent his time going on hunts, getting work done on his ceremonial tattoos as the chief’s son, and sometimes teaching the kids with Pakku. He didn’t mean to complain, but after six months it seemed like everything he could do had already been done. Life was monotonous. 

Sokka had gotten used to life on the move, flying around the world on Appa, exploring new places, running for his life, meeting new people, being with his friends. This… it wasn’t the same.

It didn’t help that every time Katara came back, she brought stories of all the amazing changes Zuko was making. Not saying that he didn’t want Zuko to do well! Sokka was happy that Zuko was doing a good job as a leader, getting all these different reforms passed, reversing  _ years _ of wrongdoing. 

One thing Zuko  _ wasn’t _ doing was writing Sokka letters.

Back when he left the Fire Nation, Sokka had promised to write to Zuko. And he wanted to! It's just that he didn’t exactly know where Hawky had gotten to, which made him an awful parent, yeah, he  _ knows _ that because Katara has only laughed at him about it a few hundred times. So he was waiting for Zuko to write him a letter. Only Zuko didn’t.

Sokka wasn’t bitter. 

Really, he wasn’t,

Shut  _ up,  _ Katara.

——

_ To Sokka, Councilman of the Southern Water Tribe, Son of Chief Hakoda and Kya,  _

_ Hello. This from Zuko. Question regarding Ambassador Tanuk: why does he hate me? What have I done? Well, aside from being a part of the Fire Nation, which I can infer can appear as a mortal sin to some, but I have no control over that. He keeps shooting me dirty looks? I don’t know why he doesn’t like me, Sokka. Fire Lord-ing is hard.  _

_ Sincerely, _

_ His Royal Majesty, Dragon of the Caldera, Fire Lord Zuko _

_ —— _

_ To His Royal Majesty, Brewer of Mediocre Tea, Prince of Ponytails, People-Pleaser of the Fire Nation, Fire Lord Zuzu, _

_ Well hi, Zuko. In case you were wondering, life is going well here in the Southern Water Tribe! It’s sunny around the clock, which should be strange to adapt to, but it’s one of those weird things I missed about home. Crazy seasons. Apparently, it’s not constantly dark for the rest of the world for months at a time. Who knew, am I right? _

_ Also, since you asked, Gran Gran misses you. You know, the lady you shook and held hostage upon meeting her? My grandmother? Yeah, your letter writing skills impressed her just as much as your first meeting. If you ever want to visit, I’m gonna need you to get better at impressing her.  _

_ Now that you’re hopefully feeling just a tad shameful about your awful letter writing, Tanuk? Man, Tanuk is awesome! He’s the guy that showed me how to make a spear, he’s a cool dude. I’m sure he doesn’t hate you, buddy. Dad says his mother was kind of taken by the Fire Nation, so you might be bearing the brunt of that whole trauma, but other than that I’m sure it’s fine! Here, I’m sending some jerky, bribe him with this, I’m sure it’ll help.  _

_ How’s it going in the Fire Nation? I wanted to write sooner, but I kind of lost my messenger hawk. I hear reports from Katara whenever she visits, but it’s not the same. If you’re interested though, the villagers throughout the Nation think you’re doing a good job. Katara says they’re happy their soldiers are home, and most of the retraining is going well. I wish I could travel, but you know how work is.  _

_ Are you sleeping? Drinking enough water? Taking long walks in short courtyards? Fighting your councilors? You know, Dad, as the Chief, wants to know how the Fire Lord is doing. Write me back quicker than half a year this time, huh? _

_ Sincerely, _

_ Councilman Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, No Need for a Lineage Lesson, Master Strategist, Swordsman of Shu Jing, Lover of Red Meat, Owner of Cooler Titles than the Fire Lord _

_ —— _

_ Councilman Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, Son of Chief Hakoda and Kya, Swordsman of Shu Jing,  _

_ One of my duties as Fire Lord is to tell people of other nations when they’re disrespecting others' culture. Making up titles? Disrespectful, Sokka. (Also, my titles are much cooler than yours.) _

_ Sorry about my last letter. Ambassador Tanuk says thank you for the jerky? He actually glares at me less now, but the oddly contemplative looks aren’t much better. I am not a people pleaser, it’s just important that the ambassadors respect me.  _

_ I know you’re making fun of me now. It is important, and I’m not a people pleaser! Shut up.  _

_ I’m glad to hear things are progressing well with you. I can’t imagine the sun being up all the time, I’d never get any sleep. How do you sleep when it’s light out? Sounds impossible. And darkness, all the time? Sounds miserable. I’ll have to visit the poles at some point to see this phenomenon. Tell your grandmother she has my formal apology for my rudeness upon our meeting, but I refuse to apologize to her for sending you a bad letter. I’ll apologize to you, but if  _ _ you _ _ hadn’t shown her that letter, I’d have nothing to apologize for. (And keep that to yourself!) _

_ Hearing that about the villagers really does help. I can hear my councilors just fine when they’re yelling at me all hours of the day, but the voice of the people gets lost in all the bureaucracy. I’ve had a couple thoughts about that, by the way, I’m sending some plans I’ve thought up with this letter. Let me know what you think.  _

_ Oh, it’s important that the Chief knows how I’m doing? Maybe I should start sending letters to him, not his son. I’m sure he’d show proper respect to titles, unlike  _ _ some people. _ _ Let him know that I’m doing well, Fire Lord to Chief.  _

_ However, as Zuko to Sokka, I’m tired. The nobles still don’t trust me. I’ve sorted out most of my advisors, but they still see me as a 17 year old, not as the Fire Lord. I don’t know what to do to make them hear me. Are you dealing with the same? I have no clue how the whole “chief’s son” thing works, will you inherit eventually? I’m sure I could ask Ambassador Tanuk, but you’re living it anyway. And, Fire Lord to Councilman of course, I’d like to hear about how your work is going.  _

_ Sleeping? Yes Sokka, I’m sleeping. I’ve been drinking water too, astounding as that may seem. I prefer playing with turtleducks to walking in the courtyards, but if you tell a single soul I will deny it. How are you? I assume you’re drinking water, seeing as it surrounds you on all sides. I’d ask specific questions, but I have no idea what you do down there. Enlighten me? _

_ Sincerely, _

_ His Royal Majesty, Dragon of the Caldera, Swordsman of Shu Jing, Great-Grandson of Avatar Roku, Fire Lord Zuko _

_ —— _

_ Zuko, _

_ ARE YOU ACTUALLY MY GREAT-GRANDSON??? SOKKA SAYS YOU ARE BUT I CAN’T TELL IF HE’S JOKING OR NOT. He’s also telling me that I have to put a lot of ridiculous titles on this letter, so I don’t know if I trust him right now. Write back as soon as possible, I need to know!!!!! _

_ —Aang _

_ —— _

_ His Royal Pettiness, Lizard of the Caldera, You Literally Stole One of My Titles, Great-Grandson of Sozin, You Aren’t Fooling Anyone, Gran-Gran Hater, Fire Lord Zuko, _

_ If you were that upset about the titles, you wouldn’t have stolen mine. Not even original, plus you’re obviously trying to have cooler titles. How on earth are you related to Roku? That DEFINITELY means you’re Aang’s great-grandson, and that’s just weird. Does this mean he can send you to your room? I think so.  _

_ Glad to hear Tanuk is moving on in his Fire Nation acceptance. It’s a process, you should probably realize that. I think one of the biggest cultural differences between us is that in the Fire Nation (or at least in what I’ve observed of the Fire Nation in depth, which may or may not be limited to you and Uncle), you hold a grudge against one person. When that person apologizes or you get revenge or whatever, the grudge goes away. From what I’ve noticed of my people, we tend to keep our grudges long past when any judgement has been served. Forgive, but don’t forget, right? _

_ All that to say, Katara and I both had to go through a process of realizing that you weren’t to blame for everything the Fire Nation did, and then by transitive property, we couldn’t hold every single Fire Nation citizen responsible for stuff that’s happened in the past. Tanuk will get there, don’t worry about him.  _

_ I guess I don’t think about how no one else knows about our seasons. There’s the midnight sun, where it’s sunny all the time for a few months, and the polar winter, where it’s dark for a few months with no sunlight. In between, I guess it’s just working its way to the next extreme. You really should visit and see it yourself. And stop hating on my Gran-Gran! You aren’t helping your case!! I can’t stop her from reading my mail! _

_ The plans look great, that’s a really good idea. I’m sending them back with some annotations, and I included another layout you could use. It’s really important for people to feel like they’re being heard. The Fire Nation is a lot bigger than our tribe, but now that we’ve got so many immigrants from the North, people have started rumbling about not being included in the decision making. Apparently, I’m the one who has to wrangle them into being happy now. What we’ve done is decided to add on a council member or two to be the voice of the Northern immigrants. Maybe also consider adding a few people to your board to represent different parts of the Fire Nation? Wait, now I’m thinking, I’ll put another plan in with the others.  _

_ The Chief is glad to hear you’re doing well, but politely defers all communication to his son. Sorry, you’re stuck with me.  _

_ Speaking as Sokka, I know what you’re talking about. Being the youngest council member is a weird mix of doing all the stupid jobs no one wants to do and being tested on how well you can manage difficult tasks. Basically, do all the grunt work that you’d be doing anyway, but also do the work of a councilor without getting any of the respect. Complaining is pointless though, it’s just how it is. As the chief’s oldest child, I’m expected to be his heir, but Dad could very well choose Katara. I’m not sure what I want to do yet. I settled into being a traveler, and I miss it. Not the life-threatening aspects of it of course, but I miss getting to see the world, meeting new people, feeling the thrill of adventure. Not much to strategize for down here. Going over your plans brought some much needed excitement to life, send me more stuff like that whenever you want.  _

_ Glad to hear you’re doing well up there! I shouldn’t be so surprised that you prefer turtleducks to people. Oh spirits, are you the mama turtleduck? Oh now I really need to see you playing with the turtleducks. I bet they follow you when you try to leave. How close are your quarters to the turtleduck pond? We never got an official tour, I need to know if my mental image of the turtleducklings sneaking into your quarters is feasible or not.  _

_ I’ve been good! Like I said, work is hard, but it’s still enjoyable. There are a lot more people our age among the Northern immigrants, so I’ve made a couple friends. One of my favorite jobs is teaching the kids how to fight. It was my job before we left with Aang, and looking back I was… so bad. We only taught the boys, but I’ve managed to convince the council that we should be teaching the girls as well. Plus, now that I actually know how to fight, I can actually teach them all! (Plus plus, I can convince the younger kids to mess with Pakku in so many ways. It’s so much fun.) _

_ Let me know how you’re doing! I can't believe it’s been 8 months since I’ve seen you. I miss our sparring sessions. I know Katara and Aang will be visiting you soon, but I don’t think I’ll be able to get away. There’s so much work to do. Write back soon! _

_ Sincerely, _

_ Councilman Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, Honorary Kyoshi Warrior, World-Renowned Strategist, Superior Swordsman of Shu Jing, Possible Heir to the Chiefdom of the Southern Water Tribe, Really Cool Guy _

_ —— _

_ Avatar Aang, _

_ I am not your great-grandson. You are 12. Titles aren’t necessary, it’s a Fire Nation custom. Sokka is just being obnoxious. _

_ Sincerely,  _

_ His Royal Majesty, Dragon of the Caldera, Swordsman of Shu Jing, Fire Lord Zuko _

_ —— _

_ Councilman Dumbass, Honorary Headache Inducer, Decent Strategist, Toothpick-Wielder of Shu Jing, Absolute Nerd, Brother to the Future Chief Katara, Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, _

_ If you want fake titles, I’ll give you fake titles. Stop giving Aang new ways to bother me.  _

_ Your comparison of our cultures was very enlightening. I can almost see Ambassador Tanuk changing his mind about us. It’s a really interesting process to watch without fearing for my life from a girl three years younger than me. Future Chief Katara is truly fearsome. Not to say you aren’t! Or not to… I don’t even know why I’m getting defensive. This has been an aggressive letter so far. Sorry.  _

_ I’m also sorry that this response has taken so long. It hasn’t been on purpose, trust me. Katara and Aang tried to remind me to write it when they visited, but life has been… busy. You may notice that enclosed with this shitshow of a letter are yet more plans for the Open Ear days, as they’ve been designated. I’ve had to fight my council tooth and nail for them, and I still can’t convince them that we need to add spots for council members who represent the common people instead of yet more nobles. There have been a couple insurrections in what’s left of the colonies, rogue soldiers trying to continue the war. A group of nobles has been spreading the word that Azula’s madness was hereditary, that I can’t be trusted. It’s been a long few months.  _

_ Anyway, those seasons of yours sound interesting. Unfortunately, I can’t foresee a time in the next year where things might die down long enough for a trip. One day. This next part is for your Gran-Gran: please stop reading these letters. Important state secrets. Leave Sokka alone. _

_ There, I ruined my chances all by myself. I’m really on a roll in this letter aren’t I? _

_ Your annotations really did help. And your perspective on what’s been working for you with Northern Water Tribe immigrants won over the council to start considering Open Ear days in the end. I know this work is important, but it’s hard to see any difference that’s being made. I haven’t left the palace in months, and the last time I spent any substantial amount of time outside the palace was before the war ended. At this rate, I’ll be known as the least effective Fire Lord (excluding Azula, I lasted longer than a day at least).  _

_ This letter is depressing. Sorry. I miss everyone. Hearing about what you’re doing out there in the real world makes things better for a while, please don’t wait for my responses to send your own letters. I hope the other councilmembers are showing you some respect now. Although, from what I’ve heard about that old grump Pakku from Uncle, he rarely respects anyone. Don’t take it personal from him at the very least. Although I’m sure you know that by now. Gosh, this letter is pointless. Whatever, it’s been put off for long enough.  _

_ Hey, if you still miss traveling, you could always come visit. If you have time that is. I understand if you don’t. There’s always a need for good strategies in this palace at the very least. _

_ I knew I shouldn’t have told you about the turtleducks. If you’re interested, they’ve been the kindest to me over the past few months. I’d take them over a screaming match with the Ambassadors any day. You’ll be pleased to know that the turtleduck pond is indeed in the courtyard nearest to my quarters. A complete coincidence, if you’ll believe it (though I already know you won’t).  _

_ Katara mentioned that you had made lots of friends your age. I’m glad one of us has social interaction. I think the youngest person around is one of the staff’s children, Sho. She’s approximately 2, and she likes to crawl around the halls at the worst possible times. Her mother wasn’t happy when she found us playing in the courtyard, so I’ve tried to stay away. Sho keeps finding me somehow, I swear that baby will be a tracker one day.  _

_ Off topic. What was next? Ah yes, the child training. Are those the fearless warriors I encountered when I… visited… your village? If so, I’m glad you’re retraining them now. No offense, but they could use some improvement. Maybe a few growth spurts. I still don’t understand why you people didn’t train your girls as warriors anyway, but I’m not supposed to judge other people’s cultures. Not stopping me in this case. Even the Fire Nation isn’t that sexist, though we do have other issues. Working on that bit. _

_ I miss our sparring too. It’s been over a year now. Like I said, sorry about that delay. Seeing Katara and Aang two months ago was fun while it lasted, but I can barely remember their visit at this point. All of my days blur together. Uncle is visiting soon, hopefully he’ll be able to make everything better. If he shows too much power, people will think I’m just his puppet, so he can’t take as much responsibility as he’d like to. I understand, but if he can take a few turns yelling at the different boards, I might be able to take a few naps.  _

_ Eagerly awaiting your reply (no seriously, I understand that I’m the worst but please write back), _

_ His Royal Majesty, Awful Letter Writer, Dragon of the Caldera, Swordsman of Shu Jing, Fire Lord Failure _

_ —— _

_ His Royal Majesty, Dragon of the Caldera, Swordsman of Shu Jing, Fire Lord You’re-Doing-The-Best-You-Can-With-A-Bad-Situation, _

_ Hey buddy. You might want to consider taking a couple days off. I completely get wanting to be there for your people, and I know you’ve got a lot going on, but I’m worried about you. And you’ve gotta listen to me, cause I’m not there to smother you with love and nagging in person.  _

_ Gran-Gran consented to just having me tell her what was in the letters, thank Tui, because if she had read that you would’ve been signing your own death warrant. And about Pakku, have you forgotten the part where he’s married to Gran-Gran? What is your deal with grandparents?? _

_ Okay. About all the politics stuff. Now, this letter is being sent only a couple days after I got yours (cause I’m worried about you buddy), so my responses won’t be as in depth as they could be, but I’m keeping the papers so I can write a proper response. Glad to hear I could help a bit with your asshole advisors, but the second I make my way up to the Fire Nation, I’m gonna kick their butts. No one should get to mess with you except me. About not knowing if change is happening, you should write to Katara. I’m not sure where exactly her and Aang have been traveling, but they’re the most active of our group. If you asked her to dig around, she’d do it in a heartbeat. We all want you to succeed here.  _

_ And hey, that’s another thing. You’re not failing, Zuko. You’re the first decent Fire Lord in at least a hundred years (sorry to your ancestors, but you know what I mean). It’s not easy to overhaul a century of big picture thinking. For the first time, there’s a leader who actually cares about his people as individuals with lives, not just Fire Nation citizens. You’re pushing for good changes, and you’re standing up for what’s right. I’m proud of you, man. You’re doing the right thing.  _

_ Now that I’ve tried to beat it into your head that you’re a good person, I can get onto the real message. I need you to follow my instructions very carefully. Find Sho. Pick her up (do it correctly please, we don’t need to give her mother a heart attack). Take her to the turtleducks. This is urgent. It’s both an image that has made my days worthwhile and an experience that I’m sure will bring you happiness. Enjoy! _

_ I’ll forgive your dissing of my culture this one time, but only because we were in the wrong there. We’re fixing it! And next, we’ll need someone to go fix the sexism thing in the Northern Water Tribe. Yeah, it’s an issue there too. That’s for another time though.  _

_ Follow up letter to come with political plans and an update on life in the Southern Water Tribe! I’m going to go ahead and send this one separately, because it’s important that you hear this. You’re doing a good job Zuko. You’re a good person doing the right thing, regardless of what your ridiculous advisors and councilors think. I’ll fight them all myself, and you can tell them that.  _

_ Most Sincerely, _

_ Councilman Dumbass, Master Strategist, One and Only Wielder of the Space Sword (Though It Was Lost in Battle), President of the Little Sisters Suck Club, Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe _

——

Sokka looked over to Hakoda as the messenger hawk took off. “Hey, Dad?” he called. 

“Yes, Sokka?” Hakoda didn’t look up from his paperwork, well used to Sokka’s interruptions. 

Sokka took a deep breath in. “I’m worried about Zuko.” His voice cracked on Zuko’s name, and Sokka quickly cleared his throat. “He’s got a lot going on in the Fire Nation, and he doesn’t sound like he’s handling it well. I was wondering…” he drifted off, knowing that his dad would know what he was asking.

They’d already had this conversation countless times. Sokka never mentioned it to Zuko, but he had been trying to return to the Fire Nation since they’d landed in the Water Tribe. Every time Katara came home, she looked at him with so much pity in her eyes.

Hakoda sighed, still looking down at his work. “Sokka, we’ve been over this. I know you miss your friend, but we just managed to get the rest of the council to start treating you as an equal. We’re in the middle of rebuilding, and the Northerners are still settling in. You’re the best fit to help them with adaptation, seeing as you’ve spent time in their tribe. Katara and Aang are away, we can’t have you travelling too.” He finally looked up. Sokka had moved to sit beside him at the table. Hakoda reached out and patted his son’s shoulder. “Maybe in a few months, sometime next year, it’ll be settled enough, but you can’t right now.”

Sokka deflated. “Yeah, I know.” He sat still for a moment, staring down at his hands. “I just wish there was more I could do to help him.”

“I know, son.” Hakoda searched his mind for a way to make Sokka feel better. “How about you invite Suki to visit? She might help you take your mind off of him.”

Sokka perked up. “That’s a good idea. She could help me make some plans too! I’ll write to her right now.”

——

Toph visited for the first time since she left a year and a half into Zuko’s reign. She had to tell her parents that she was on a business trip just to get them to let her leave again. 

As soon as she had gotten home, they had tried to lock her up like before. Guards watched her around the clock, she wasn’t allowed to leave the house, and Toph was entirely over submitting to them blindly. She bartered and bargained her way into a teaching position at the earthbending academy. Since then, she had been establishing her position there. Toph knew she didn’t need to teach, but she had realized how much she liked the power trip when she taught Aang. 

(That’s what she told people, anyway. If she found a sense of fulfillment from helping other people learn, from pushing others to be the best they could possibly be and  _ more,  _ from finally having a consistent purpose in life other than just going from day to day…  _ if _ that were the case, it was no one’s business but her own.)

She was scheduled to visit the Fire Nation for two weeks, not including travel time. On the third day, Toph finally gets sick of Zuko ruffling papers together and sighing when she’s trying to provide him with meaningful counsel. “Hey jerk, why do you sound like Aang pining over Katara over there? I’ve been trying to explain how to properly piss off your Agriculture advisor for the past ten minutes, and all I get in return is lovesick sighs!”

On cue, Zuko started sputtering. His heartbeat picked up dramatically, and after a second, a cushion collided with her feet. “I do not!”

Toph scoffed. “Like hell, what the fuck are on those papers?”

“I should’ve never introduced you to cursing,” Zuko muttered under his breath. She smirked in response.  _ Cute, he doesn’t even think about the Earth Rumble guys. _ “It’s just my letters from Sokka.” Toph almost didn’t hear Zuko’s mumbles, but she sure was glad she didn’t miss  _ that _ bombshell. 

“Wait… you’re in love with Sokka?” 

“No! No, no way, ugh, no.”  _ Huh, that’s the truth.  _ “He just… look, I just miss him. He hasn’t visited once, and everyone else has. We’ve written more now, but we didn’t write for a while. I just…” Zuko drifted off, and Toph could feel him shuffling his feet to pick up his spilled papers. “...I miss him.”

Toph considered her options. She could A) try to carry out an emotional conversation ( _ haha, no _ ), B) change the subject ( _ she’s not awkward like her idiot friends, no) _ , or C) distract him.

“Wanna go destroy some shit to forget about this conversation?” Toph offered. 

Zuko snorted. “Please.”

——

_ His Royal Majesty, Turtleduck of the Caldera, Sixth Most Powerful Teenager in the World, Liberator of Boiling Rock, Fire Lord Sunshine, _

_ Congratulations on two successful years as Fire Lord! Some would say that’s two more than any Fire Lord in recent history, so keep on breaking those records! Chief Hakoda sends his congratulations as well, along with his regret that we won’t be able to attend your birthday celebration. However, closer to the day, keep an eye out for a very special birthday card from yours truly! Now, for the plans you sent... _

——

_ …and for the last time, 20 isn’t old! I do appreciate the card, as… abstract as the painting may be, but 20 is still young! Speaking of young, I had these ideas for a new history curriculum, to replace what’s being taught now. Do you think you and Aang could look them over for cultural bias? _

_ Sincerely, _

_ His Royal Majesty, Dragon of the Caldera, Swordsman of Shu Jing, Fire Lord Zuko _

——

_ His Royal Majesty, Dragon of the Caldera, Swordsman of Shu Jing, Fire Lord Zuko, _

_ If you continue to bother Suki, my girlfriend, for information on her ex of two and half years, I will find a way back into Caldera and use you as target practice. That is a threat, and you can warn your guards if you must.  _

_ —Mai of Kyoshi, Formerly of New Ozai, Formerly of Caldera _

——

_ Sokka, _

_ Okay, I know I promised not to talk about Zuko in letters, but he will not stop asking about you. I know you’re writing to him at least once a fortnight, but I need you to write to him more. For my sake. Or just start keeping a diary, then rip out the pages and send them to him. I’m tired of talking about you at every meal.  _

_ Tell Dad I miss him, _

_ Katara _

——

_ …Did you really have to send Tanuk back? He won’t stop complaining about losing his precious fire flakes. Please send some with your next letter so he’ll shut up. Sending Kumi away was a mistake, her wife misses her entirely too much, and it’s making her kids nervous wrecks.  _

_ Plus side of having Tanuk back, you’ve been holding out on the embarrassing stories! I thought you’d just gotten less awkward, I can’t believe you were just not telling me all the social cues you missed. I’m also requesting more stories of Sho, she’s gotten so old! I feel like I know her even though I’ve never met her. When I visit, she’ll be so weirded out, I can’t wait.  _

_ Sincerely, _

_ Councilman Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, Master Strategist, King of the Fire Flake Trade, Swordsman of Shu Jing, Currently Laughing at Fire Lord Dumbass _

——

_ Councilman Dumbass, Son of Chief Hakoda and Kya, Swordsman of Shu Jing, _

_ Trust nothing from Tanuk’s mouth, he’s a dirty liar who prefers his fire flakes unseasoned, the bastard. I’ve sent some anyway, but I request more of that Water Tribe tea in payment, non-negotiable…  _

——

_ Great-Grandson, _

_ What should I get Sokka for his nineteenth birthday? I’m actually in the Fire Nation right now, sorry for not stopping by, but we’re looking for the perfect gift! Do you want me to get him something for you and bring it with us for his birthday? Otherwise, it probably won’t get there on time. Write back quickly!! _

_ —Aang _

——

_ Zuko, _

_ NO WAY DID YOU GET PIANDAO TO MAKE ANOTHER SPACE SWORD!!! THERE WASN’T EVEN ANOTHER METEOR WAS THERE? How did you do this???? Thank you so much, it’s beautiful, it’s just the same except for the engraving!! You’re the best, I can’t wait to practice with it!!! Now, for my next birthday…  _

——

_ His Royal Majesty, Dragon of the Caldera, Swordsman of Shu Jing, Fire Lord Zuko, _

_ First, I’d like to offer you the Southern Water Tribe’s official congratulations on 5 years of peace. You’ve handled your struggles as a leader remarkably well. The Fire Nation truly holds our respect and admiration for the progress you’ve made so far, and we look forward to helping you continue on this path.  _

_ Okay, formality out of the way, I do have a favor to ask. Ambassador Kumi has done an excellent job, I’m sure, but we’ve been having issues without her. Her children, aged 6 and 3, have become absolute terrors without one of their mothers. Every day is worse than the last. If at all possible, can we please open negotiations for a new Ambassador to be appointed? Please. I am open to any recommendations.  _

_ Sincerely, _

_ Chief Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe _

——

_ Councilman Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, Son of Chief Hakoda and Kya, Swordsman of Shu Jing, Master Strategist, Invaluable Asset to Everyone He Speaks To, _

_ How do you feel about changing the Councilman in your title to Ambassador? _

_ Sincerely, _

_ His Royal Majesty, Dragon of the Caldera, Swordsman of Shu Jing, Fire Lord Zuko, I’ve Been Discussing This With Your Dad for Several Months, Please Don’t Be Mad _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it!! next chapter should also be up within the week :) my tumblr is @limit-list if ya wanna hang out on there!!


	3. somewhere in my heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks everyone for the comments and kudos!! they really brighten my day haha. as always, this has been beta’d by the amazing @avng on tumblr! this chapter has our boys finally reuniting. hope y’all enjoy :)

Zuko spent the morning of Sokka’s arrival trying to appear calm. He dressed in one of his finest robes, pulled half of his hair into a topknot, carefully situated the Fire Lord hairpiece, and tried not to notice the bags under his eyes. Although the years had brought more experience with the duties of his position, they hadn’t made anything less time-consuming. 

By the time the ship was sighted near the harbor, Zuko was desperately trying to straighten his robes from his restless fiddling. After checking Sokka’s quarters for the fifth time, he went out to prepare the palanquin. 

He arrived at the docks just as the ship began to unload. Zuko searched the workers for a glimpse of Sokka but couldn’t spot him. His eyes stalled on a man almost a head taller than him.

The man had a bushy ponytail that went past his shoulders. He was unloading crate after crate, and for some reason Zuko couldn’t look away. He couldn’t even see the man’s face, only his back and side. He had the same type of tattoos Zuko had seen on other Water Tribesmen going down his right arm, but these looked different somehow. There was a stylized turtle taking up the side of his shoulder, with waves and bands of black radiating out from it. The tattoo stretched from his elbow up his neck, with smaller symbols that Zuko couldn’t make out from the distance. 

Realizing he was staring, Zuko kept looking for Sokka in the crowd. 

“Zuko!” he heard someone call. Zuko turned around only to see the man from earlier running toward him at full speed. He only got a glimpse, but—

“Sokka?” He choked out as the man collided with him in a hug. Zuko was lifted and spun around before landing and scrambling back to get another look. “Spirits, I didn’t even recognize you!”

Zuko was too distracted by finally seeing Sokka to notice his guards. Only when Sokka backpedaled from him quickly did he look around to see his guards pointing their weapons at the other boy. 

“Woah, cool down guys! Just your friendly Ambassador from the Southern Water Tribe here! Please don’t kill me— your Fire Lordliness, tell the nice guards not to kill me.” Sokka grinned widely, eyes flicking from guard to guard. 

Now that Sokka had backed up, Zuko could see where his old friend had changed. Same nervous and cocky smile, same mischievous blue eyes, same tanned hand slowly reaching for his sword the longer silence dragged on— oh. 

“Guards, stand down,” Zuko commanded. “This is Sokka, son of Chief Hakoda and Kya, Ambassador to the Fire Nation on behalf of the Southern Water Tribe, Swordsman of Shu Jing, Master Strategist.”

Sokka’s eyes flicked back to Zuko from watching the guards sheath their weapons. “Aw, you got my titles right! Thanks, Fire Lord Sunshine,” Sokka smirked as he executed a sloppy fire nation bow. 

This time, Zuko was only slightly distracted by certain… physical changes (his muscles flexed with even the slightest bow, and a few flyaways came down around his face distractingly, and he’s just so much taller…) before snapping himself out of it. 

“Welcome to the Fire Nation, Ambassador Dumbass.”

Sokka’s laugh rang out loudly around him, and Zuko cracked a smile back at him. “Oh I see,” Sokka chuckled, leaning back on his heels and crossing his arms. “Fire Lord learned some jokes!”

Zuko snorted. “I’ve always had jokes, you just never appreciated them.”

“That is  _ slander _ —“

“No—“

“Your majesty, shut  _ up, _ the closest you got to a joke was talking about trauma and then stealing your uncle’s metaphors—“

“I messed up  _ one _ joke—“

And suddenly, Zuko had an armful of Sokka again, not that he was complaining. He sighed into Sokka’s shoulder and hugged back. “I’ve missed you, Sokka.” 

For a moment, the painfully honest truth hung in the air. They could hear the shouts of people still unloading the ship, the water splashing against the docks, could smell the saltwater in the air. Zuko closed his eyes and tilted his face into Sokka’s neck, reminded of all those years ago in this exact position, saying goodbye to Sokka on the docks. 

Then, Sokka tightened his grip. “I’ve missed you too, buddy.”

——

That night, after Zuko showed Sokka his quarters and his office, they ate dinner together in a small dining room overlooking the city. They caught up on all the details and stories that don’t fit in letters. Iroh’s tea shop in Ba Sing Se, Aang and Katara’s misadventures across the globe, Toph’s quarterly visits to the palace, Hakoda’s efforts to convince Katara to take her place as his heir, the joy Sokka gets from getting the kids in his village to disrespect Pakku, Zuko’s success in getting his staff to stop being terrified of him, and every story or anecdote in between. 

After a couple glasses of wine, Sokka leaned back in his chair. “So, you’ve really settled into your role here.” Zuko flushed. Sokka visibly drifted his eyes down Zuko’s body and up again. He had dropped the Fire Lord robes as soon as they were alone, lounging in the wrap shirt and pants he preferred. Sokka met Zuko’s eyes as he took another sip of wine. “It suits you, man.”

Zuko chucked and rolled his eyes. His hands fidgeted on the table, suddenly overcome by nerves. “Me?” He took another sip of wine and with the other hand gestured to Sokka’s entire right side. “You’re the one who grew a foot, got all… muscular and came back covered in tattoos!”

Sokka laughed and tilted his head to the side. Zuko wasn’t sure what to make of the expression on his face, all warm and fond but with sharp eyes. “Yeah,” Sokka huffed, “I guess that’s true. I dunno. The happy, long haired, lordly look is doing it for you.”

At this point, Zuko could feel the blush on his face. “Thanks,” he said quietly. They sat like that for a minute, just staring at each other in the charged silence. 

Suddenly, Sokka took a deep breath. “Look man, I’ve got ulterior motives for accepting the position here.”

Although the other boy said it with a smile, Sokka’s words cut Zuko to the core. He sat up straight from the slouch he’d fallen into, losing the smile and replacing it with a blank face. Sokka mirrored his body language and held out a hand placatingly. 

“Wait, shit, that came out wrong—“

“Then you’d better explain it, Sokka.” The events of the past five years had taught him more than enough about ulterior motives. Logically, he knew Sokka wasn’t like the nobles in court, but power meant people changed. 

“Zuko, I— shit, I screwed this up, I shouldn’t have had so much wine.” Sokka chuckled and wiped his hands down his face. He gathered his wits, looking back up at Zuko. “When I left five years ago, my plan was to never come back here. At least, not for long. I was going to go home, train and learn under Dad, catch up with the people in my village, and one day, become the chief. That was my duty.”

The knot in Zuko’s stomach was growing more and more tangled. “You say Chief Hakoda is convincing Katara to be his heir. What changed?”

Sokka let his shoulders collapse on a sigh, pulling at his ponytail with his right hand. “I guess… I did. Um, Katara might’ve told you, I was getting a bunch of, uh,” a blush formed on Sokka’s face, “offers from the immigrant’s kids around our age a couple years ago, and even some who were older. A  _ lot _ of offers, every other week it seemed—“

“Sokka, I get it, you were popular.” Zuko cringed as soon as the words left his mouth. Sokka just flicked his eyes back to Zuko’s and huffed out a laugh. 

“Yeah, popular. Anyway.” Sokka stood and wandered to the window overlooking the city. “I didn’t accept any of them. I thought about it.” He paused and looked back at Zuko contemplatively. “It just didn’t feel right.”

Zuko stood and walked over to the wall a few feet away. He watched Sokka as Sokka watched Caldera City. “Was it about Suki?” Zuko asked. “Are you two back together?”

Sokka barked out a laugh and shook his head. “No, nothing like that. They just…” Sokka drifted off. 

Confused, Zuko prompted, “...just?”

Blue eyes met gold as Sokka refocused his mind on the present. “Did I ever tell you about the morning after your coronation?”

Zuko huffed out a breath. “No? What does that have to do with anything?”

Sokka kept his eyes on Zuko’s as he crossed his arms across his chest. “So, the night of your coronation, there was that giant dinner. After, you snuck our group onto the roof of our quarters and we fell asleep under the stars, like old times, right?” Zuko silently nodded. 

Looking back out over the city, Sokka continued. “Well, the next day, you were so exhausted that you slept past the sunrise. For whatever reason, I woke up, I dunno why. But I looked that you, the sun rising behind you, and I realized that I…

“I had feelings for you.”

Zuko… didn’t think he was breathing. “You—“  _ wow, twenty-two and still having voice cracks _ — “You what?”

Sokka smiled softly, drifting a step closer. “I looked at you sleeping, like a total creeper, and I kinda maybe realized that I was harboring a crush the size of one of those massive, overcompensating Fire Nation ships on you.”

_ Yeah, definitely not breathing. What’s happening? _ “Um— what?”

Sokka’s smile turned into a grin as he took another slow step into Zuko’s space. “Oh come on, I  _ know _ you heard me that time. I said I have a crush on you that’s more obvious than when Aang—“

“Okay nothing is more obvious than Aang’s crush on your sister in this situation, if it were, I would understand what’s going on right now, and I don’t. You—“ Zuko took a deep breath and tried to rearrange his view on the world. “What about Suki?”

The smile on Sokka’s face faded into concern. “Zuko, you are aware that Suki, Mai, and Ty Lee are extremely happy together, right? There’s still a brain in there?”

Zuko pushed away the hand Sokka was reaching out to knock on his head with and paced across the room. “Yes, I know that, thank you. I do keep up with our friends. I meant that you and Suki were still dating then, right?” Zuko knows full well that they were still dating. Their breakup marked the day that Sokka forced him to realize that people cared about him. Not a day he could easily forget. 

Sokka’s eyes reached Zuko as he paced back and forth. “I mean yeah, I didn’t notice my feelings for you and have the ones for Suki just evaporate. We talked about it a lot and realized we didn’t fit together as well as before. We broke up.”

He stopped pacing in the middle of the room, standing carefully with his back to Sokka. Zuko rubbed his fists into his eyes. “Okay, there was what, a month or so after that before you left?” He turned and turned a glare onto Sokka. “Why didn’t you say something then? Or at any point in the past five years?”

At this, Sokka grinned and crossed his arms (flexing those stupidly large muscles). He leaned back against the wall. “I dunno, why didn’t you?”

Zuko’s world froze. His mouth opened and closed like a fish. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from Sokka’s. “Why— What?”

Sokka raised an eyebrow. “Why didn’t you ever mention your feelings for me?”

“I don’t— you— who told— I mean—“ Zuko fumbled over his words as Sokka just stared at him with that  _ infuriating _ smirk on his face. “Oh quit smirking at me, I’m trying to figure out where you got the idea that I like you from.”

Huffing out a laugh, Sokka thumped his head back on the wall, choosing to look at Zuko turning red through his eyelashes. “Try all of our friends, ever. My dad. Former Ambassador Kanuk. Iroh. Piandao. My mom, but that was a weird dream. Momo, at one point. Should I continue?”

Zuko closed his eyes, dragging a hand through his hair and the other yanking on his shirt. “How— what made them— I can’t do this, I can’t—“

“Hey, Zuko buddy, take a breath.” Suddenly there was one hand on his back and another on his wrist. “Zuko, I’ve already told you that I feel the same. This is a good thing!”

His eyes flew open to see Sokka’s wide smile only inches from his own face. Zuko yanked away from Sokka’s hands and smile and welcoming eyes and maddeningly warm body and  _ when the fuck did he start realizing this shit about Sokka? About anyone, for that matter? _ He stormed over to the window and fumbled it open.

Zuko dragged in breath after breath of cool air from outside, focusing on the sounds of cat-owls screeching and guards chatting quietly in the courtyard below. After a few minutes, he opened his eyes again. 

“I just…” Zuko realized that if he could hear the guards, they could likely hear him. He set about closing the window. “Sokka, I…”

He faltered. He had never told anyone this before, not Mai, spirits forbid he told Sokka, not even Toph. He’d never had the words before, but for  _ Sokka _ … 

Zuko had to try.

“I’ve… never felt like that. About anyone.” He shut his eyes and leaned his head against the window pane, not wanting to risk looking at Sokka and losing his nerve. “I was with Mai, but only as a formality and a front to the court. She was my friend, or at least the closest thing I could get. She was Azula’s, but I…” he gave a sarcastic laugh, “...I got her on loan. I would’ve done anything to have someone to talk to that wasn’t Azula.

“It’s not like I never tried. There were a couple times, I thought…” his mind flickered through that night on the ferry with Jet, and his date with Jin. “But I couldn’t… I couldn’t reciprocate their feelings. There was nothing there. But you…” Zuko tried to find words for everything Sokka meant to him, blocking out the sounds of Sokka walking over to the wall near him. 

“Sokka, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I’ve never tried to think about you like that. You left. I tried to find something to write to you about for months, but I didn’t want to say something wrong or stupid and not get a response. So I waited months. And then it was like we never stopped talking. But you never came and visited, which seemed like a clear message. When your dad wrote about switching Ambassadors, I was only thinking that maybe it was a sign that I could invite you back here.” Zuko finally stopped ranting to take a breath. “Then you show up here, you look like  _ that,  _ and you still care so deeply for your people and you still make every second better and— I just.” Zuko kept his head bowed as he dragged his hand down his face.

“I don’t know how I feel about you. I’ve never felt like this before. I’m confused.”

It was quiet for a moment before Sokka cleared his throat. “Zuko, I—“

Zuko looked at him for the first time since he started his confession. Sokka’s eyes were glassy, one hand tangled in his hair, the other wrapped around his torso like he was physically holding himself back. “Sokka, I’m not saying yes or no to anything tonight. I told you all that because I need a bit of time. Is that… okay?”

Sokka’s face almost crumpled before he forced a weak smile. “Yeah, man! I’m here for… well. Until further notice, I guess. You can take all the time you need.”

His words said one thing, but Sokka was obviously disappointed. They both felt much more sober than before. 

Zuko cleared his throat. “I still missed you. Can I… um.” He cringed and turned away. He still wasn’t the best at asking for physical affection sometimes, not even from Uncle. 

Luckily, Sokka got used to that a long time ago. “Want a hug?” he asked. His smile was a bit more real when Zuko shyly nodded. 

The moment Sokka stepped into his personal space and wrapped his arms around Zuko’s shoulders and torso, Zuko started relaxing. He buried his face in Sokka’s neck and hugged him back around the middle. Sokka released a bit of the tension in his shoulders and huffed out a laugh. Zuko, sensing Sokka’s teasing on the way, grumbled and dug his nails in. 

“Hey!” Sokka yelped, wiggling around. “Okay, I get it, don’t make fun, the dragon has claws! Please retract them, so I can go back to enjoying my friend being affectionate for the first time in five years!” He tightened his arms until Zuko went back to hugging him like a normal person. “Thank you!”

They stood there for a minute or two, finding comfort in each other and breathing in the other’s scent. Sokka smelled like the saltwater of his trip and sweat from the climate change, but with something indistinguishable mixed in.

It was only when there was a knock on the door that Zuko jolted back, hitting his head on Sokka’s chin. They took a second to compose themselves (namely, Sokka rubbed his chin and glared while Zuko grumbled and rubbed his head), before Zuko pitched his voice up. 

“Yes? Enter.”

One of the kitchen workers came in, bowing to Zuko and nodding at Sokka. “Are you through with the plates, your Majesty?”

Zuko tried to force his blush away. “Yes, we’re done, thank you.”

As the man gathered up their plates and utensils, the boys walked over to the window together. Zuko opened it. He and Sokka leaned on the windowsill, observing the city in silence for a few moments. After a while, Sokka asked, “So, when do things start rolling?”

“...What?”

Sokka smiled and turned his head towards Zuko. “You know, ambassador of the Southern Water Tribe, Fire Lord of the Turtleduck Nation, jobs to do? When should I get up in the morning?”

Zuko exhaled sharply, glaring over at his ridiculous friend. “I shouldn’t have told you about the turtleducks, it gives you too much power.”

“Yeah, well, if I don’t see them on the tour at some point, I will be  _ very  _ disappointed.” Sokka wiggled his eyebrows and adopted a haughty accent. “I have  _ expectations, _ Zuko.” As Zuko blushed, Sokka’s eyes widened. “Not that I have  _ those _ kinds of expectations! Just, you know, regular expectations, just seeing the turtleduck pond expectations, not anything… else…” he winced. “I was doing so well tonight, too.”

Giggles escaped before Zuko could stop them. “You know, I was wondering where the Sokka I remembered was,” Zuko snarked, “you were a bit too eloquent for a minute there.”

Sokka laughed with him for a moment before turning serious. “But… you know I am the same guy, right? It’s been a while since I’ve seen you in person, I guess, but I’m still Sokka. Your old best friend, sparring partner, strategic consultant, you know?” He nudged Zuko’s shoulder with his own, arms crossed on the windowsill in front of him as he looked sidelong at the Fire Lord. 

“Yeah, Sokka,” Zuko said softly. “I know it’s you.” He smiled over at his friend before clearing his throat. 

“Anyway,” he continued, glancing away, “we should both get some sleep tonight. Tomorrow, I’ll have a messenger sent in to get you for breakfast. After breakfast, I’ll give you an official tour of the palace, followed by lunch with the rest of the ambassadors. The afternoon schedule will say ‘informational meeting’, but it’s really just me catching you up to date on all of our politics. I thought we could do that in one of the courtyards— what?” Sokka was smiling at him with that warm-yet-sharp look again. Zuko could feel himself blushing. 

“Nothing. We should probably go to sleep,” Sokka said, but he kept smiling. They both turned and walked over to the door, which the kitchen worker had closed after he left. They opened the door and turned their separate ways in the hall. “Goodnight, Zuko.”

Zuko watched Sokka head towards his quarters. He waited until the other boy— man now— had turned the corner to whisper, “Goodnight, Sokka.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed! ik this is about half as long as the other chapters, and next chapter isn’t written yet, but if you follow me on tumblr @limit-list you can see sneak peeks and get some updates :)


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